Saturday, March 31, 2007

all stand - Judge Jan is in da house!

Yes Yes Yes.

CHAR KWAY TEOW IS GUILTY AND CHARGED FOR THE FOLLOWING:

1. containing large amounts of unhealthy fats.
2. containing high amounts of harmful substances, namely sodium

and many more.


*personal opinion: i think grilled things are as nice as fried things. its a pity though that no one has tried to grill noodles! :)






- randomness
last year i was a health conscious freak. Watched my diet, exercised daily, hated chocolates.
this year its the complete opposite. dont exercise, eat non-stop.

so i am very comforted after reading "bio undercovers" biology blog. It states that phosphorus is very important for healthy growth!

phosphorus is needed to extract energy from food, particularly fats and starches. It is a component of healthy bones, teeth, gums and many other tissues. Phosphorus also helps with kidney functioning and heart regularity. It lessens arthritis pain. But none of this would be possible without proper levels of vitamin D and calcium, which phosphorus needs to function properly.

Red meat, poultry, fish, whole grains, eggs, seeds, nuts all contain phosphorus! :)
Phosphorus aids in metabolism too! can you believe that!?

:) now i feel like eating some magic phosphorus powder or something, because i feel obese after all that CHOCOLATE!

but the good thing about chocolate, according to "bio undercovers", Lecithin is a phospholipid used in chocolate to keep it smooth.

SEE! SO CHOCOLATES ARE GOOD TOO! :)
Still, we should keep in mind that anything taken in excess is unhealthy. :)

{ i was alone at 4:39 AM}

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Friday, March 30, 2007





Report No: 258 (Char Kway Teow)

Submitted by: Prof. Georgina


What it is: A kind of flat rice noodle that is FRIED

Sent to Judge Jan for TRIAL...






I WILL convince you that Char Kway Teow is BAD. It has 235mg of cholesterol per serving- that's a lot you know?


Now, why is that so?


- Char Kway Teow is cooked using dark and light soy sauce and most should know, it is fermented product made from soybeans. Yup, soybeans ARE healthy, BUT soy sauce is NOT. It contains 135 calories per serving (255 g), and 14 374mg of sodium (salt)!! Goodness! That is like a lot of salt. Imagine just one plate of char kway teow would have so much salt in it!


Why is too much salt bad?

Too much sodium will lead to/aggravate high blood pressure which develops into heart diseases and stroke, and for the body to retain water. This is because too much salt will make a type of "hypertonic solution" in the body, so water will diffuse out of the cells and into the other parts of the body, like the arteries- leading to water retention in the body parts and the heart needing to pump harder to push blood down the arteries as water is blocking the passage way (High blood pressure which leads to stroke). GASP










- Char kway teow contains cockles AND (sometimes) prawns. Both are very high in cholesterol, but since prawns are normally in a smaller proportion than cockles in a plate of char kway teow, cockles are more harmful and also in other ways.

Cockles, if not cooked properly, will cause very very bad food poisoning because there is a number of pathogenic micro-organisms and natural toxins that the cockles contain that are harmful to the body. It also contains the virus Hepatitis A, and this is worsened because the cockles are normally half-cooked to retain its "original" flavour. *Eww* Why would anyone eat half-cooked stuff???? >.<>LARD!!!!!!! Lard is pig fat containing a lot a lot of saturated fat... and it is like white and gooey- yuck. (see below)




So ya, lard is normally used because it is a cheaper way to make the dish more delicious instead of using more ingredients and gas to cook the food. >:( so BAD!! Since lard contains a lot of saturated fat, it can cause (yet again) heart diseases. :(


- Lastly, char kway teow is FRIED- which means a lot of oil is used (see how oily the plate and kway teow looks on the picture right at the top?), or in some cases, lard. Normally, olive oil will not be used, because it is more expensive and char kway teow is sold primarily by hawker stalls- I don't think they will spend so much to cook a $2 plate of char kway teow for you. So they may most likely use peanut oil- more flavour you see.

Oil is very high in calories and cholesterol, causing heart diseases again because they are high in saturated fats. :(



So the next time you decide to tuck in to a plate of charkway teow in a hawker centre, think twice.

Personal opinion: As a health coroner, I DON'T LIKE IT. But, it is nice to eat- JUST DON'T EAT TOO MUCH!! :D


{ i was alone at 9:08 AM}

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Saturday, March 24, 2007



Public Prosecutor v French Fries




[2007] SGFC 02





Suit No:
CC 02/2007
Decision Date:
24 Mar 2007
Court: Fast Food Joints
Coram: Judge Jan
Counsel: Dieters(Deputy Public Prosecutors) for the prosecution, MacDonalds, KFC, Burger King, Long John Silver, Botak Jones for the accused



Judgement

24 Mar 2007

Judge Jan:

1. On a really biased note, I detest french fries from Macdonalds. In constrast, I do adore Fish and Co.s' fries tremendously, but I shall try not to let my biaseness show during this court case. (smile)

2. Potatoes are bad enough when consumed in their raw state, as their simple sugars are rapidly converted to glucose that raises insulin levels and can devastate one's health. (chapt 4 of bio text! :D) When they are cooked in trans fat at high temperatures, it is much worse!

Anything that is fried has the issue of trans fat and the potent cancer-causing substance acrylamide.

Foods that are fried in vegetable oils are particularly problematic as the polyunsaturated fats easily become rancid when exposed to oxygen and produce large amounts of damaging free radicals in the body. They are also very susceptible to heat-induced damage from cooking. These oils can cause aging, clotting, inflammation, cancer and weight gain.


The facts

3. In late 2005, a survey study by several women’s hospitals, Harvard, and Brigham Young University evaluated nurses who had consumed french fries at least once weekly during early childhood. Those nurses who had eaten french fries on a weekly basis were 27% more likely to develop breast cancer as adults.




4. The study concludes that French Fries pose additional risks to developing breast cancer. In response, many fast food companies began offering alternatives to french fries, such as fruit or vegetable servings.
This study did not suggest that all “forbidden foods” pose the same potential risk. Women who ate hot dogs or ice cream, according to this survey were found to be at no additional risk for developing breast cancer.

Decision of the judge



5. I have already made it quite clear that I hate French Fries fried in reused oil, thus the verdict is quite clear...GUILTY!!! >=)



6. "I hereby hate french fries fried in reused oil. Since the jury enjoys fries, they can eat as much as they like. It's them getting fat and old-looking afterall! :) "











Yes, smash your head into some Trans Fats, Saturated Fats, Calories, Carbohydrates, Ash and Sucrose.

http://www.nutritiondata.com/facts-C00001-01c225u.html check out the Nutrition Facts of the Accused - frightful.



{ i was alone at 8:14 AM}

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Monday, March 19, 2007



Suit No: CC 5/2007
Decision Date: 19 Mar 2007
Court: Doughnut Shop
Coram: Judge Jan
Counsel: Mothers of Policemen(Deputy Public Prosecutors) for the prosecution, Fat Police Men for the accused.

Judgement
19 Mar 2007
Judge Jan:


1. On the 19th of March 2007, a policeman on patrol was indulging on a box of Original Glazed Doughnuts. about 6 hours consuming the Original Glazed Doughnuts, he suddenly felt a pain in his heart and collasped to the ground and died. Dr. Zeng confirmed that due to overconsumption of Doughnuts, the policeman had suffered from a cardiovascular disease (CVD), and had angina and abnormal heart rhythm. He either died of a heart attack or congestive heart failure, resulting in sudden cardiac death.

2. As a result of its oh-so-lovable-sweetness, the accused is spared the prospect of a capital charge. Instead the policeman's mother, Mdm. Policeman wishes for Original Glazed doughnuts to be sentenced to excel, s 1(a) of the Penal Code (Cap 001, 1992 Rev Ed) (“the Penal Code”).


3. Migrating from North America by Dutch settlers and becoming a PR in Singapore, the Original Glazed donut suffered a traumatic childhood. At birth, it was born with a hole in its heart. Once, it was submerged in boiling oil. In the shop(its home town), it was constantly being bullied by the Torus-shaped Ring Doughnuts, and the Filled Doughnut, a flattened sphere injected sweet filling as they believed they had more substance than the Original Glazed doughnut.
The Facts:


4. The family of the policeman were all serving in the police force and suffered from Obesity due to overconsumption of Doughnuts. It was confirmed that his whole family line suffered from ODD (obsessive doughnuting disorder). It was predictable that the Policeman should suffer from cardiovascular diseases.

5. The Original Glazed donut contained substances prohibited by the law of healthy eating.

The Evidence

The autopsy report

Dr Heng performed an autopsy on the Accused and confirmed that the the Accused contained 200 calories which is equivalent to 10% of a human's daily intake requirement. It also contained large amounts of saturated and trans fats which is most probably the cause of the policeman's heart problem.

The profile of the accused

The Original Glazed doughnut is dough that is deep-fried in oil and glazed with a layer of melted sugar which hardens and forms a nice crisp layer on the top of the doughnut. This melts in your mouth to give a sensational taste.

Antecedents

The Accused was also convicted of raising the level of low-density lipoprotein (LDL) cholesterol, reducing high-density lipoprotein (HDL) cholesterol, increasing the ratio of total cholesterol to HDL cholesterol, and increasing triglyceride levels. It is also convicted of altering membrane fluidity and responses of membrane receptors and diabetes.

Sentence

" I hereby sentence Original Glazed Doughnuts to 24 hours imprisonment in the digestive system for causing sudden cardiac death of the policeman. yea"

Conclusion

Doughnuts are BAD and EVIL and TASTY.









tastiness.
happiness.

{ i was alone at 2:10 AM}


Did I mention that Fried Mars Bars are an excellent source of fat, sugar and calories? Oops... Guess not...

Fried Mars Bars nutrition facts

Per serving:
419 Calories (kcal);
1g Total Fat; (2% calories from fat);
12g Protein;
88g Carbohydrate;
0mg Cholesterol;
2261mg Sodium Food Exchanges:
6 Grain(Starch);
0 Lean Meat;
0 Vegetable;
0 Fruit;
0 Fat;
0 Other Carbohydrates

Hey what's that sound that I'm hearing?..........................Oh it's the sound of Mr Johari's arteries clogging up.

{ i was alone at 1:01 AM}




We now have the niceties set aaaaaaaside. This is a recipe for the people who actually want to try out the Mars Bars but have no time to go to Far East and try.

1 Mars bar or Milky Way bar
1 cup plain flour
1/2 cup cornflour
1 pinch baking soda
milk or beer
oil (for deep frying)


1)Chill the chocolate bar by keeping it in the fridge, but don't freeze it.
2)Mix the flours and bicarbonate of soda (baking soda) together.
3)Add milk (traditional) or beer (which gives a lighter result) until you get a batter with the consistency of thin cream.
4)Heat the oil until a small piece of bread will brown in a few seconds, but don't allow to smoke.
5)Remove wrapper from chilled chocolate bar.
6)Coat completely in batter.
7)Carefully lower into hot oil and fry until golden brown.
8)Serve, with ice cream or french fries, if you're so inclined.

{ i was alone at 12:55 AM}



Ok... we are doing Fried Mars Bars today... and here is some background info... before we let the other info blow up in your face. Bwahahahaha.....


Deep fried Mars Bars was first invented in a chip shop in Stonehaven, Scotland in the mid 1990s. It was never a mainstream item and its popularity with the media is in part an ironic commentary on urban Scotland's notoriously unhealthy diet.


At more than 400 calories per bar, the snack isn't health food. But then, Scotland isn't noted for healthy lifestyles. Many parts of Scotland have the highest incidence of heart disease, cancer and strokes and the lowest life expectancy in the developed world. Hence we can conclude that they drop dead like bird droppings drop from the sky... piak!

{ i was alone at 12:17 AM}

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Sunday, March 18, 2007

boo

{ i was alone at 7:18 AM}

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